LITERARY: He found a white hair, and sighed. It had to happen some time. You can’t escape a wizard’s curse turning you into a polar bear.

EROTICA: She was turned on by statistics. It wasn’t uncommon. In the world of mathematical fetishes, it was a standard deviation.

SHLOCK: Anyone know a quiet place in the city? Secluded, private, no witnesses? Asking for a fiend.

COMPLIMENT: “You’re one in a million. That’s your rating. One out of a million.”

ETIQUETTE: End a statement with “just saying” if you’ve run out of things to say but you still need people to hate you.

HISTORY: Archaeological evidence shows that the Great Pyramid Of Giza was constructed by a workforce of 100 000 unpaid interns.

MEDICINE: “Back, fiend!” he yelled, holding out an apple. The doctor hissed and retreated into the shadows.

BIOPUNK: “Heeeey! Who has seventeen thumbs and a surgery addiction?"

BUREAUCRACY: Due to a clerical error, millions of dollars of genetic research funding were accidentally granted to the Human Gnome Project.

BIOLOGY: When rabbits see approaching headlights they become paralysed because they mistake them for deadlines.