Adventure: "I'm gonna literally wipe the floor with you," said the GI. "I doubt that," said Hans, who was literally a Grammar Nazi.


Self-Help: Help yourself. To pudding. I can't solve your problems in one tweet, but pudding is delicious.


Revisionism: The plagiarist Shakespeare stole and renamed the plays Sir Michael o'Bay: rIIIch-Hard, 2 Gentlemen 2 Verona, and ShrewTamer.


Crime: All the victims were the same: Perfectly healthy and alive, with one tiny paper-cut. This was the the work of a psychohomeopath.


Music History: 1976: US weaponises Disco Fever. 1983: USSR drops Da Bomb.


Fable: The Billy Goat Gruff convinced the troll that a more gullible goat would soon be on the comment thread.


Family drama: He enjoyed his daughter's enthusiastic tales of spring break, and assumed she was listing Disneyland rides. Not sex positions.


Political: He was always vocally dismissive of the sheeple. Until he met the wolfple.


Crime: The police had no trouble catching the Dyslexia Killer. He'd written detailed descriptions of his murders in a dairy.


War: The Sergeant respected the General's command of the tactical map, but worried about the "Brrrm!" sound he made when moving the tanks.