Chick Lit: She stood on her own two feet. She didn’t want to get swept off them. High-heels.


History: Isaac Newton made an important discovery in that orchard: Birds sitting in apple trees don’t always control their bowels.


Fantasy: The spell took him to a strange world. The ground was pink and covered in fine hair. It was unfamiliar, like the back of his hand.


Horror: “Bind Them Forever!” chanted the eyeless ones, holding a rusted needle. And the couple began to regret having a themed wedding.


Coming Of Age: He learned a lot that year. Laundry won’t do itself. Deodorant is not a bath. And scurvy is still an actual thing.


Modern Romance: “Why do you still sell AA batteries?” he said. “What devices still use them?” The cashier’s blush gave her away.


Fantasy: The scientist uncovered the wires that the mystic used to fake levitation. And Tlazotl the God of Skeptics grew powerful.


Medical: For years the doctors thought he had Tourette’s, until they found out that he was just surrounded by arseholes.


Philosophical: His motto was “Live every day like it was your last.” He spent the final 37 years of his life screaming and crying.


Fable: The Late Bird came home after an all-night bender, and ate the worm. When the Early Bird woke up it had to reevaluate its priorities.